Key West to Kona Part 1

Took a little hiatus from the bloggy blog, but I am back!

This one has been a week or two in the making and I know I have been

neglecting the fans since the trip to China at least blog-wise although I have kept

an all but low profile on Twitter and Facebook.

But enough about that I am gonna fill you all in right now on what has

been going on since I left the Orient!

First though I wanna lead into this with a little quote from one

of my favorite movies of all time Cocktails staring

our boy Tom Cruise back in the day!

But the quote is actually from the other star of the movie

the character  Jeff Coglin,

“Collin’s law never tell stories about a woman,

no matter how far away she is from you she’ll hear about it.”

There are a couple of reasons I am starting this blog like that,

but I am only gonna get into one.

Mr. Dan Meehan long time friend of mine is getting hitched in September

and I am the best man

(of course that is just an opinion and probably

not an educated one)!

So for his bachelor party we decided to do it up

correct and threw him a bash to remember in Ft. Lauderdale and Key West!

Or as I now call it Key Vegas/ Key Hell!

The drinking and shenanigans began in the Austin airport with myself, Dan, and

Mr. Caleb Kilborn.

This equation always equals trouble…. Always….

But this was just the beginning once on board we shortly

hit the Gulf of Mexico and were able to spot BP’s oil spill.

Being 3^rd Coast born and raised this had an ill effect on Caleb and I especially.

But we soon found refuge under the wings of a Wild Turkey!

or two….. or well too many…

These really got us out of our funk and when we hit land we were ready to get into some real trouble!

Here is a photo of me donning my LeBron T in honor of The Decision 2010!

On the balcony with the man of the hour Danimal at the Pier 66

Hyatt in Ft. Lauderdale!

Later that night we would be blessed with the arrival of George and Casey from

New York and New Jersey and the final arrival was that of

Matt Gawronski of Minneapolis (gotta get back up there soon!)

The next morning I had the pleasure of driving these hooligans down to Key Hell in an aptly named “Bang Van” or a 12 passenger van as to be inconspicuous.

All this after we all shot gunned beers in the parking lot of Wal-Mart!

(I mean they all did that….)

On arrival Key West looked pretty legit ,

We took refuge at the Key West Hyatt and started slurping down libations as soon as we walked in.

They did have some of the best pina coladas I have ever had!

Little did we know this town was basically a cleaned up version

of NOLA also it was the Hemmingway Festival

so shit was off the chizzzain!

After drinking until like 4am (yeah the bars were open that late! YIIIIIKKKKEEESS!)

we had an 8am deep sea fishing trip scheduled.

Yeah and somehow we made it…

Even with this feat the captain of the boat was not amused.

Let me rephrase that and get on my soap-box a minute.

The captain of our boat just so happened to be the hugest duesche bag and

dick in Key Bumpsky land!

His name is Dan… He looks like the love child of Captain Ron.

If he is the captain of your boat run and reschedule or just don’t tip the bastard at

the end of the trip.

A prime example of this bitch not doing his job and sitting on his ass….

Okay so enough of the calling him out, and now on to the rest of the story!

Aside from Captain Kill joy we rocked out there!

Here is a sick Miami Vice pic of our Dan

and Mr. G-$!

The rest of this day was pretty chill just played some wiffleball

on the beach and sipped some libations before

heading to the bars and then heading in for

an early night at about midnight.

We had something super important to do the next morning.

Something that I am still suffering the consequences of right now.

We rented scooters to tour the island on!

After riding the scooter for about 2-3 hours I suppose I became a little

over confident with my skills on this hog.

I have to say seeing an athletic guy like Matt Gawronski

up ahead of me gave me a false sense that I could handle the beast as he did!

Long story short what happen was as we took a detour

into a newly paved hotel parking lot I saw some of my fellow riders speed up

and hit the speed bumps while hitting the gas and it looked like a hell of

a lot of fun!  Unfortunately, I decided to to this on the last speed bump

in the parking lot.  So as I was hitting the gas

everyone ahead of me was hitting the brakes!

I too had to hit the brakes, but I hit only the

front brake causing my front wheel to flip around

and throw my stead to the pavement with my leg under it!

The two of us slid along on the ground a few feet causing the leg injury I now have!

After the spill we decided it was best to go back to the Hyatt and change my clothes

and dress my wounds.  In the photo’s included it may look a little weak

sauce but trust me my friends this was painful painful painful.

The only thing that could make me feel better was

chocolate dipped key lime pie on a stick oh

and 302’s (151 + 151).

After the accident all I wanted to do was turn in the bike and hopefully

not get caught for scrapping the hell out of the bike.

When we turned them in I think that the

bike shop attendant’s herbal hobbies

must have helped me to get away with dragging one of his sweet hogs

across the Key West pavement that day!

After that we went hard early that night and it was probably the only way

I could sleep through the pain!

We even ran into the bike shop kid and he thought he recognized us….

but we swiftly replied we weren’t who he thought we were!

The next day all that was on our minds was evacuating the island and food!

So we packed up the bang van and drove back to Ft. Lauderdale…

We had one last night to party, and hence we tried to,

but one thing I can say about Ft. Lauderdale the

service is so bad that they make it

pretty hard to party.

The next day I had a flight to catch to yet another paradise

Hawai’i’s Big Island!

This trip would prove to be a bit more relaxing!

And boy was that needed!

I had a great time with our “Wolf Pack” on Key West,

but I can’t say that I wanna relive it anytime soon!

Big ups and much love to all the guys!

Stay tuned for the Kona half of the blog!

~XOXO~

Cain

Ps. Thank you to Casey Masterson for some sweet photos including the header image with the 24’s!  Check out more of his photos on the Facebook Album “Fresh Water Conch“.